Rejected: Writing Not Good Enough For The Internet: The Lists Edition
Some rejected lists:
Band names that, if taken literally, might get you arrested on tour
The Killers
The New Pornographers
Porno for Pyros
The Homosexuals
Fine Young Cannibals
Ways That An Older Jon Bon Jovi’s Will Be “Going Out in a Blaze of Glory”
- In a lukewarm bath of lavender and distinction
- With a moistened facetowel of commendation and a bottle of the filtered water of accolade
- During a colonoscopy of acclaim with a high-fiber diet of homage
- In a notable flash of competence, preferably while upgraded to First Class
Lesser Known Conditions of Bonnie Tyler
- Partial Eclipse of the Heart
- Mostly Sunny of the Throat
- Party Cloudy of the Glands
- Hot and Sticky of the Lower Lumbar
- Wintery Mix of the Colon; Snow chains required
PRESBYTERIAN HYMN OR PR0N?
1. There is a Balm in Gilead
2. Now To Your Table Spread
3. Hearts Cracked Open
4. In Search of the Wild Kingdom
5. The Lone, Wild Bird
6. Coming Home
7. I Come With Joy
8. Sacred Sin
9. Careful He May Be Watching
10. Somebody’s Knocking at Your Door
11. Black Angel
12. Not For Tongues of Heaven’s Angels
13. Fill My Cup
Prebytrian Hymn: 1, 2, 5, 7, 10, 12, 13
Porn: 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, 11